So I am going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment. I don’t really have a topic for today, but I thought I might be able to work through some things if I rambled about them a bit on here.
I don’t really know what is wrong with me, other than to say that I’m just sad. I cry a lot, for no real reason. I struggle to sleep at night as my mind goes a mile a minute, and can barely stay awake during the day. I am absolutely plagued with indecision. I stress about the future ramifications of any decision I make, no matter how small.
I just really feel like a bundle of nerves. During a bout of tears the other night, I told Joaquin that I felt like butter spread over too much bread – because why use your own words when JRR Tolkien probably said it better. I know introvert is a very popular term these days, but I definitely am one. I need alone time to recharge, and I haven’t gotten any of that lately. It has gotten to the point where I don’t even want to go to the theatre to see shows (and if there is one thing this blog makes clear, it is that I love theatre). But when I give up my theatre tickets, I worry about how much I might regret it.
It is really an odd position to find myself in, and though I have found myself in some slumps in the past, I really pride myself on being a strong person, picking myself up and getting over it no matter how rough things seem. I am hopeful that things will improve soon, and I am so incredibly lucky to have such a supportive and understanding spouse. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.
I know I will bounce back soon. In the meantime, I am glad to be able to distract myself with knitting, mindless TV, and trashy books.